Stalking

What is stalking?

Legal definitions of stalking actually vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but a good definition of stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Stalking is unpredictable and can be potentially very dangerous. No two situations involving stalking are alike. There are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another, yet there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your safety. (Information was pulled from victimsofcrime.org.)

Stalking is a serious threat and has been taken lightly in today's social media use. People use the term to describe checking out another person's profile or going through their pictures. But is that stalking? In some cases it may be, especially if the person doing the "stalking" has malicious intent. Sadly, with the easy access of the internet and vague knowledge some people have about making sure their information is private, stalkers can easily use social media to track their victims. If you don't know if your profiles on sites like Facebook are set to private, then head over to our internet safety page.

If you think you are being stalked, or know someone who is being stalked, please contact us at (209) 722‑4357 or, if you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Who is affected by stalking?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (2023/2024 data):

• More than 1 in 5 women (22.5%, about 28.8 million) and about 1 in 10 men (9.7%, about 11.9 million) in the United States have been stalked at some point in their lifetime.
• In a single year, about 7 million women and 3.7 million men are stalked.
• The most common tactics are being followed, watched, or spied on (78% of female victims and 76% of male victims) and being approached at home, work, or school when it was not wanted.
• Nearly 7 in 10 victims receive unwanted phone calls, emails, voicemails, or text messages, and about half receive unwanted messages through social media.
• Technology is part of stalking: between 16% and 29% of victims were tracked with GPS or monitored through apps or software without their permission.
• More than half of female victims (52%) and nearly two-thirds of male victims (64%) were threatened with physical harm, and most victims — 85% of women and 72% of men — suffered mental or emotional harm as a result.

The impact of stalking on victims

The impact on victims of stalking can be:

• 46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next.
• 29% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop.
• 1 in 8 employed stalking victims lose time from work as a result of their victimization, and more than half lose 5 days of work or more.
• 1 in 7 stalking victims move as a result of their victimization. (Baum)
• The prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involves being followed or having one's personal property destroyed. (Eric Blauuw)

What stalkers do

While what stalkers do varies person to person, here is a list of things that they may do:

• Follow you and show up wherever you are.
• Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards or emails.
• Damage your home, car, or other property.
• Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
• Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go.
• Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work.
• Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
• Find out about you by using public records or online services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or coworkers.
• Posting information or spreading rumors about you on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth.
• Other actions that control, track, or frighten you.

Study of stalkers

• 2/3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily, using more than one method.
• 78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach.
• Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 1 out of 5 cases.
• Almost 1/3 of stalkers have stalked before.
• Intimate partner stalkers frequently approach their targets, and their behaviors escalate quickly. (Kris Mohandie)

What to do if you are being stalked

There are a number of things you can do to keep yourself safe if you believe you are a victim of stalking:

• Trust your instincts. Don't downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
• Take threats seriously. Danger is generally higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
• Contact a crisis hotline, victim services agency, or a domestic violence or rape crisis program such as Valley Crisis Center at (209) 722‑4357.
• Develop a safety plan — see our step-by-step safety planning guide — including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a relative or friend go places with you. Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, school, work, or somewhere else.
• Don't communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.
• Keep evidence of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date and place. Keep emails, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes.
• Contact the police. Every state, including California, has stalking laws.
• Get a court order.
• Tell family, friends, roommates, and coworkers about the stalking and seek their support.

Valley Crisis Center can only support with cases where the person stalking you is someone you were in a relationship with, or sexually assaulted by. If you are a student, staff, or faculty at Merced College or UC Merced, our advocates on campus may be able to assist you if you are being stalked by someone you were not in a relationship with or sexually assaulted by.

• You can reach Merced College RSVP at (209) 756‑6446
• You can reach UC Merced CARE at (209) 386‑2051
• You can also call us on our 24-Hour Crisis Line at (209) 722‑4357 and find out what options are available to you.